Hey, I’m Kayla,,,
Just trying to get by while trying to find a way to not “just get by” – Soul searching while juggling all the hats: wife, mom, student and Kayla (because being myself is also important)
It only took 27 years for me to decide to live for myself, and now that I am trying to do that it is a whole journey. So cheers to figuring it out or something like that.
My story this far…
Virgo baby born in the PNW, adopted by the most beautiful souls as a baby. Grew up playing sports, going to church every Sunday and Wednesday night. Typical childhood and even more typical teen years, angst and rebellion. My teen years really shifted things, I definitely lost myself trying to fit in and feel like belonged – which I’m now convinced everyone goes through. Drowning myself in partying and boyfriends . At 19, I met my now husband while working at a local fast food restaurant. Being with him was different and I immediately fell in love with him. Around 3 months into our love story I became pregnant with our daughter. Needless to say the odds were not in our favor, being young, quickly becoming parents, and overall just trying to grow up. However, Mia was exactly what I needed in that moment, becoming a mom just worked well for me and was everything I needed at the time. About 2 and half years later Joe and I got married in a beautiful ceremony- And boy… that first year of marriage was hard… (a story for another time) Anyway… After 3 years of marriage we started trying to add to our family. Which led to our precious boy, Russell. Our sweet little CHD warrior (which led to a big shift in my spirituality) After he was born I felt stuck in a job that wasn’t making me happy, and after years for dealing with mental abuse by that manager I left my job and went back to school to chase my dream of being a teacher… And here we are- Current day.
So Current Kayla…
Truthfully current day Kayla feels more lost than ever… It is weird how life shakes out that way. I started living my life for myself and suddenly I realize just how lost I am. Questioning my faith, or basically my overall beliefs, struggling with my self image, struggling with my health mentally and physically, and while taking all that on I have the normal mom and wife things on my plate too. Am I feeding my family the best foods, am I parenting my kids right, am I being a good life partner?
It seems like I slowed down to really look at myself and realized I really am not being the person I want to be or think I truly am. I am just here trying to find myself and live the life I want for myself. While I search for balance, peace and for my path in this mess of a world.
